Careful What You Wish For..like Sex

- Be Careful of What You Wish For - Like Sex. The Universe seems to be very specific.


"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose. You're on your own, and you now what you know. And you are the (girl) who'll decide where to go."
Dr. Seuss from Brainyquote.com

These are some images from my vision board..and I wonder why men are asking me if I want to have "casual sex"?!!
So funny!

Careful what you wish for..the Universe seems to be very specific! :)

So Spirit Junkie Gabby Bernstein says to "manifest" what you want you need to get really clear on what you want. She says "Thoughts are creating your reality". And what I'm learning is not only is that so true but it's a great reminder that if you are working on manifesting something in your life... be really specific.

You see, I have been thinking about how much I would love to just have amazing great sex. That kind of sex you have on a weekend getaway..that's all about passion, and seduction and physical thrills. That loose your mind in the moment sex. It could be because it took "Mr. Chicken" (the sexy older powerful man I dated after the divorce, I'll explain the name another time :)) to show and teach me that sex could be that mind-blowingly-oh-my-God-thank-you-for-creating-the-most-life-affirming-toe-curling-breath-stopping-experience called great sex that makes me know how much I want it and need it and miss it. #@#@ him for taking that away from me. Seriously, I get he wasn't right for me. I get his "strong" personality on a daily basis would have made me run for the hills, but we could have at least had a few more months of brilliant mind blowing sex before he decided to remarry an x-wife to make his grown children happy. (Even just writing that makes me chuckle at how dysfunctional that is. Yet another reason why I am so glad I am not with him: that x-wife-wife was into him deeper than a mine shaft prior to the marriage, and now she seems to have built a cavern in there he will never be able to fill back up.) But still, there was more great sex to have and that is the only thing I am annoyed about. My sexual education was not complete and he was the perfect teacher. (Sorry, I got lost in remembering and I am hoping the folks around me at this cafe have no idea how just thinking about him and his sex can make my root chakra light up brighter than Time Square.)

.

So my point being that it is time to find another sexual teacher, and as I put that out there...without specifically asking for romance and friendship too, some funny things have happened. First "The Dr.", that seems to have some texting difficulties and asked me out the first time like this:

him: "Would you like to to get together for a glass of wine, cup of coffee, hike, casual sex! You pick." 8:15pm
(I think it is so funny, I wait until the next day to respond)
me: "Are those all my options?" 12:59pm
him: "hahaha (I've discovered than men over 50 do not use lol :)) I'm open to suggestions."

A few weeks later he sends me these texts in casual conversation:

him: "How as your day?" 4:14

him: "Waiting til sunset to take a jacuzzi. What a good day!" 4:18

me: "Great day too! And sounds perfect..but u don't get lonely in ur sunset jacuzzis? :) 4:38 - (like duh, invite me to your jacuzzi or say something sexy)

him: "Of course I get lonely. But I do the best that I can with what I have." 4:56 (thinks about it a little more)

him: "Would love to share this. Time, patience, and self confidence will resolve my loneliness." 5:19

him: "Oops, I forgot to say that I hope time, patience, and self confidence will bring me someone to love." 5:19

him: "Sorry, pretty heavy. Let me rephrase, wanna have sex? hahahah." 5:19

Now even the straight men I showed this too were appalled. Like "no, you may not date this man, that is just wrong, wrong, wrong." I thought it was super funny, because a: it was so socially inept, b. it's actually refreshingly honest. and c. that is what I had been asking the Universe for, right? "I just want to have amazing sex." And there it was. Although he is close to sixty, so how amazing the sex would be remains to be seen. The little blue pill may be very important.

And then, the next day, I am sitting at a fab cafe, waiting for a cup of soup and so happy to get a quick chance to read the NY Times without interruption, and this gorgeous, I mean gorgeous black guy comes over and asks if he can "share my paper". He is as smooth as butter, as sexy as Taye Diggs, and as manly as the NFL player he apparently was. Some famous former NFL player who wants to "share my paper" and "buy me gelato" and "go on a Trolly ride" and "see where it takes us." I was so amused at this sexy banter I gave him my real phone number. There I was the television talent, who hadn't worked in a month, and who would go home to her mother's house, flirting with the NFL player like I was about to head home to my penthouse after hosting my own show. So funny what knowing you are desired will do for your confidence level. (And apparently that world we all saw on "Entourage", where beautiful bored people who don't make their money 9 to 5, actually do meet in the middle of the day and go have sex just for the fun of it, actually exists) I escaped, saying I had to meet a friend for tea. But he texts me that night:
Him: "What are you up to?"7:48
Me: "Dinner at the Fairmont, u?" 8:12
Him: "Getting dressed for dinner with some friends" (and you know he knows he looks like a sculpture "getting dressed" 8:15
Him: "Are you dressed nice?" 8:17
As I am about to take my four year old out, I am in my version of appropriate Mom clothes.. skinny jeans, fitted sweater, and 4 inch heels..and he is about to go to "da club!"... I find this question very funny.
Me: "Yoga clothes. (I had joked with him that I was a yoga instructor) Have a fabulous evening." 9:50

He serenades my voice-mail mid-morning the next day with a wrap, no joke, about "hey sleepy head..get out of bed", it was eleven, I have a four year old, I was up. It was all very tempting. He was very persistent in an "I got swagger, and women don't say no to me kinda way." He was/is HOT! I really thought about just experiencing a fling like that and a black man because I never have (I have only slept with 3 men), but not quite that brave just yet.

But again, I laugh because I had been wanting really great sex, I hadn't told the Universe, that I wanted it to be with a man I felt safe with, someone who got me, someone who would romance and seduce me, and whatever happened would be my life long friend. I just said "great sex". And those were the offers I was getting. So funny!

So I have added those other things in with the "mind blowing sex" and we will see what happens.

XXOXO,
Butterfly Mommy